Contact Between the Young Person, their Family and Others

For many young people, relationships with family members, previous carers, friends and others are valued. Contact can be very important in helping young people develop their sense of identity and understand their lives.

Contact with family and friends will be set out in the Placement Plan. This will detail where, when and how contact will take place including whether it will be supervised and should detail any risks. The young person’s views should be taken into consideration when looking at issues around contact.

As a supported lodgings host you will be supported to help young people to have appropriate and carefully assessed contact (direct and/or indirect) with their family, friends and other people who are important to them, such as previous hosts or foster carers.

The young person’s social worker will provide you with the necessary information including any assessment of risk for those involved. If there is an issue with the young person wanting contact with family and it is deemed to be not in the best interests of the young person, then a Mental Capacity Assessment will need to be completed by the social worker/accommodating authority to establish if they have capacity and the local authority will need to be make a decision around whether a Court of Protection Order is necessary. See also Mental Capacity Act. 

Face to face meetings and visits will generally be the best way of maintaining relationships, but other means such as letters, phone calls, photograph exchanges, cards etc. can also play a part.

You should also talk to the young person’s social worker to explore how electronic communication, such as video calls, can support positive relationships for young people. Young people should be supported to ensure they are safe online rather than this form of contact being avoided. Childnet have produced some helpful information to help foster carers consider contact with a child/young person's family through the use of social media and digital devices.

It is important that young people who are not a cultural match with you but placed with you, maintain their links with their family, friends and community so that their cultural history is encouraged, developed and valued.

It is not unusual for young people to ask to have contact with relatives or friends they may have lost touch with before becoming Looked After. If this happens speak to the young person’s social worker.

You should observe and record any issues before and after contact. This may identify patterns which can contribute to future decision making.

You should discuss contact in your supervision meeting with your Supervising Worker so that problems can be identified and hopefully resolved.

Contact can increase a young person’s sense of security when the people who are important to them are comfortable with each other. This can also help parents and other family members to feel less awkward and threatened.

The young person may want to visit their birth parents at home. These visits, which may include staying overnight, must be agreed and planned with the young person’s social worker.

See also Overnight Stays.

Confidentiality

Working with birth parents is an important part of your work. A vital element of this is trust and confidentiality.

You will receive a lot of confidential information which you may wish to share with those closest to you; discuss this with the young person’s social worker in the first instance.

You may also talk to other foster carers/supported lodgings hosts about young people you are supporting for general advice or to seek support. You should remember to treat any discussions in confidence and young people should never be specifically identified or named.

Problems with Contact

Contact can cause distress and upset for a young person and you are often the person who has to deal with this when a young person feels confused, angry or disappointed. You may also have mixed emotions when this happens. You should be offered support if needed to support appropriate contact.

You may feel that the family is letting the young person down, but, there could be many reasons for this.

• The family may feel guilty or angry that their young person is living in a supported lodgings placement;  
• A young person may have been placed in an emergency when the family was experiencing problems;
• Parents may feel angry that their young person is living with you if this is against their wishes and resent having to comply with plans they don’t agree with;
• Parents can also worry that you will take their place in the young person’s life;
• Parents may also feel they have let their young person down which can impact on their motivation and reliability.

These reasons and feelings can lead to parents behaving in ways which appear inappropriate. They may be very emotional, giving the young person unrealistic messages or make promises that they cannot keep.

Understanding the parents’ experience can help to make sense of the situation for the young person as well as the family.

Any restrictions on communication by the young person with their parents should be agreed by the young person’s social worker and reviewed alongside the young person’s wishes and feelings.

If you feel that changes should be made to contact to protect the young person from Significant Harm the young person’s social worker should be told immediately or within 24 hours. If the young person returns from contact and you are concerned in any way about something that has been said or done particularly if you think it has harmed the young person in anyway, you must report this to the young person’s social worker or a duty worker in their office immediately or within 24 hours