Family Time Between the Young Person, their Family and Others

For many young people, relationships with family members, previous carers, friends and others are valued. Keeping in touch can be very important in helping young people develop their sense of identity and understand their lives.

Plans around spending time with family and friends will be set out in the Placement Plan and living agreement. This will detail where, when and how family time will take place including whether it will be supervised.  Details around any concerns or risks will be discussed with the supported lodgings provider, and plans will be in place to reduce this. The young person’s views should be taken into consideration when looking at issues around family time.

As a supported lodgings provider you will be supported to help young people to have appropriate and carefully assessed direct and/or indirect time with their family, friends and other people who are important to them, such as previous providers or foster carers.

The young person’s social worker will provide you with the necessary information including any assessment of risk for those involved. If there is an issue with the young person wanting to keep in touch with family, and it is deemed unsafe or not in their best interests, the young person's social worker will explore this further.

Face to face meetings and visits is generally the best way of maintaining relationships, but other means such as letters, social media, phone calls, photograph exchanges, cards etc. can also play a part.

You can talk to the young person’s social worker to explore how electronic communication, such as video calls, can support positive relationships for young people. Young people should be supported to ensure they are safe online rather than this form of contact being avoided. 

Family time can increase a young person’s sense of security when the people who are important to them are comfortable with each other. This can also help parents and other family members to feel less awkward and threatened.

The young person may want to visit their birth parents at home. These visits, which may include staying overnight, must be agreed and planned with the young person’s social worker. Where a young person is over 18 years, they can agree on their own family time arrangements.

See also Overnight Stays.

It is important that young people who are not a cultural match with you , maintain their links with their family, friends and community so that their cultural history is encouraged, developed and valued.

It is not unusual for young people to ask for help to make links with relatives or friends they may have lost touch with previously. If this happens speak to the young person’s social worker.

You should observe and record any unusual or worrying issues before and after family time. This may identify patterns, such as a young person becoming anxious or upset which can contribute to future plans.

Your Supervision and Support

 Use your supervision meetings with your Supported Lodgings Social Worker so that worries can be identified and hopefully resolved. You may feel that the family is letting the young person down, but, there could be many reasons for this:

• The family may feel guilty or angry that their young person is living with a different family rather than being with them;
• A young person may have come to live with you in an emergency when the family was experiencing issues;
• Parents may feel angry that their young person is living with you if this is against their wishes and resent having to comply with plans they don’t agree with;
• Parents can also worry that you will take their place in the young person’s life;
• Parents may also feel they have let their young person down which can impact on their motivation and reliability.

These reasons and feelings can lead to parents behaving in ways which appear inappropriate. They may be very emotional, giving the young person unrealistic messages or making promises that they cannot keep.  Therefore, understanding the parents’ experiences can help to make sense of the situation for the young person as well as the family.

Any restrictions on communication by the young person, under 18, with their parents should be agreed by the young person’s social worker and reviewed alongside the young person’s wishes and feelings.

If you feel that changes should be made to family time to protect the young person from significant harm the young person’s social worker should be notified of concerns immediately (or within 24 hours). If the young person returns from seeing family and you are concerned in any way about something that has been said or done, particularly if you think it has harmed the young person in any way, you must report this to the young person’s social worker or a duty worker in their office immediately.

Confidentiality

Having a respectful, working relationship with birth parents is an important part of the role of being a provider. A vital element of this is trust and confidentiality.

You will receive a lot of confidential information which you may wish to share with those closest to you; discuss this with the young person’s social worker in the first instance.

You may also talk to other foster carers/supported lodgings providers about young people you are supporting for general advice or to seek support. You should remember to treat any discussions in confidence and young people should never be specifically identified or named.